What Is Grief?

Grief is often described as a response to the death of a loved one. However, grief is the natural response to any significant loss. We grieve in response to many situations, including:

• The death of a loved one
• The death of a pet
• The ending of a relationship
• The end of a job or a career
• The loss of health, or physical changes in our bodies
• The loss of experiencing something we desire and are not able to experience, like marriage, becoming a parent, achieving a goal

When these and other losses are not acknowledged, grieving people may downplay their grief and those who support them may not understand the intensity of their feelings. Grieving people need understanding and support, regardless of the type of loss they are experiencing.

The Experience of Grief

Traditionally, we have attempted to understand grief primarily from a model created in the 1960s. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross created a model that identified five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. These responses to grief are sometimes misunderstood to mean that grief is an organized process, happening in an orderly form.

The truth is, grief is not orderly at all and is unique to every person experiencing it. Grieving persons experience a wide range of emotions. There is no “normal” timeline for grief and no “right way” to grieve. It is important to understand that healthy grieving allows people, over time, to experience the reality of their loss while learning to reengage with life after their loss.

Effects of Grief on Health

Feelings of grief can impact your physical and mental health. Grief can cause:

• Changes in appetite
• Headaches
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Insomnia
• Stress
• Fatigue

It can take a toll on your immune system as well, leaving you more vulnerable to infection and illness.

Grief can also have implications for your heart health. Grief can cause stress, which releases a hormone called cortisol. High levels of cortisol in your bloodstream can increase your risk for heart disease, high blood pressure and heart attack.

Stay Healthy During Grieving Periods

It is important to stay healthy, fed and hydrated while you grieve. Having a support system of friends and family to check in on you can help. Everyone grieves differently, but it’s important that they feel supported throughout the process. Learn more about how to support someone who is grieving.

Grief Can Lead to Depression

Unresolved grief can lead to clinical depression. Experiencing sadness and grief are part of being human. However, if you have ongoing distress that does not start slowly getting better over several weeks, or if you have thoughts of suicide, reach out for professional help.

Primary care providers can also refer patients to behavioral health specialists if needed.

Find Support During Grief

Grief sometimes makes it hard to function. This is normal and to be expected. It’s important to have someone – a friend, family member, mentor, religious leader or mental health professional – to talk to. There are support groups available – in person and online – for people who experience specific losses.

Resources at University Health

Primary Care

Primary care providers can make referrals to specialists like grief counselors, therapists and behavioral health care providers. A PCP can also monitor your physical health while you’re grieving. 

Peveto Center for Pastoral Care

The Peveto Center for Pastoral Care at University Hospital is the home to the Spiritual Care Department and two beautiful spaces that afford individuals a space for peace, reflection, meditation and prayer. Professional chaplains often provide grief support to hospitalized patients and their families and our hospital staff.

Child Life

At University Health, certified Child Life specialists are available to support to children and their families throughout their hospital admission. They provide grief support and resources when a family is experiencing the death of a child.

Community Resources

Children’s Bereavement Center of South Texas

The Children’s Bereavement Center of South Texas provides support and resources to children and young adults who are coping with a loss. The center offers grief support groups, grief counseling, school-based support groups and a camp for kids experiencing grief.

The Ecumenical Center

The Ecumenical Center is headquartered in San Antonio’s Medical Center. In addition to providing educational workshops and training for religious leaders, it hosts a free, six-week in-person grief support group. The Center also compiles a list of community resources specific to bereavement support.

Wonders and Worries

Wonders and Worries is an Austin-based organization that helps children and teens cope with their parents’ serious illnesses in an age-appropriate and supportive way.

GriefShare

GriefShare connects people experiencing grief and loss with support groups in their area. Support groups include educational videos, discussions and a member guide.