Everyone has ups and downs, or feels anger and deep sadness at times. But how do you know when your emotions are the everyday kind or when it's time to get help?
It might be time to see a therapist if the way you're thinking, feeling or behaving is interfering with your normal life. And that this has been going on for some time.
You don't need a clear understanding of what's bothering you before you get therapy. It's enough to say you're feeling overwhelmed, immobilized, out of your depth, or that no one understands you. It can be hard to find the words to name what you are feeling. A therapist can help.
Psychological Clues
Psychotherapy can be provided utilizing many different approaches.
Many times when people have trouble coping with life, it's mainly that they are getting in their own way. A pesky part of yourself works against change to keep things the way they are. At other times, you don’t even realize there are alternative ways of thinking, feeling, or behaving, given how we were raised, or the traumas we’ve had to survive.
Therapy Basics
Psychotherapy is designed to help people explore emotional, behavioral or thought patterns that may be related to other things such as self-esteem or relationship problems. The goal might be to stop or reduce symptoms such as an extreme fear or feelings of sadness or anxiety. Another goal may be to improve how you function in relationships or work.
Most therapists do talk therapy (counseling). They understand and help through talking and developing rapport with you.
To be successful, the therapeutic relationship must have the following parts:
The frame
Therapy includes building a healthy relationship to include thoughtful and consistent structure. The frame includes a comfortable, safe and private setting, with a regular meeting time and an agreed-upon fee.
The approach
Your therapist should be well trained in a method, or variety of methods, that they can explain to you.
Nonjudgmental listening
Therapists are people too, so they have their own reactions and opinions. But to help you, they are trained to be aware of these and separate them from the therapeutic work. You have to make your own choices and decisions.
Your therapist should not second-guess you or tell you what to do. The exception is if your safety is at risk, you're doing something very destructive, such as threatening to hurt yourself or someone else. In that case, your therapist may need to intervene to ensure everyone’s safety.
Trust
For your treatment to succeed, you have to believe your therapist has your best interests in mind and is acting in good faith.
Caring
Therapy is a business relationship with clinical and scientific foundations. But it's also a real and caring one. A good therapist is nonjudgmental, and can maintain an open mind about how complicated our lives can be.
Empathy
No one can really know what it's like to be you. But a good therapist, in addition to being warm and caring, should make every effort to understand what you are going through. It's vital that they can get into your experience and understand you.
A good fit
Therapy is most successful when you choose a therapist whose personality and way of working are a good match with your own. In other words, find someone you feel comfortable with. It is possible that you might have to try more than one to find one that you can work with.
Finding a Provider
To find a mental health provider:
- Check with your insurance company to see what types of mental health services are covered. They may have a list of preferred mental health providers
- Ask you primary care provider for a referral. If your insurance does not cover mental health care, ask your health care provider if there are free or low-cost community mental health services.
- Ask trusted friends or family members for therapist names.
- Call local professional organizations for names. This could be the professional organization for social workers, psychiatrists or psychologists.
- Contact a local university psychology department or social work department.
- Once you have found a name, you can check with your state's department of professional licensing. Make sure the person is licensed and has no complaints filed against them.
If you have a specific problem, ask for a provider who specializes in that area. For example, many therapists have in-depth training in alcohol and drug use problems, eating disorders, domestic violence, or depression, among other things.
If the first therapist you meet doesn't work out, don’t give up. Keep interviewing therapists until you find the right match.
Therapy is really just you and a well-trained person who cares about you talking and working together to understand you better. And in the end, working together can lead you to understanding your problems and deciding what action to take to feel better.
This article is provided by the StayWell Company, LLC. This information is not intended as a substitute for professional medical care. Always follow your health care professional's instructions.
